THE DAY OF DECISION
August 4, 2018
TEENS & PARENTS COMMUNICATION PT1
September 19, 2018

BUILDING BOUNDARIES

I remember sometimes ago when we had to pass through the barracks just to get to our house, we had just returned from a long journey and didn’t want the stress of going to pass the long route to the house and we had forgotten our gate pass. We just had to try our luck. At the first gate, we explained and was granted easy access🙌🙌🙌…

At the second gate, it wasn’t as easy as we thought. We talked, begged and after waiting a while, were asked to go. 😎🏃🏃🏃

On the way, I began to think about the whole incident… 😱😱😱

💡As Christians are there instances, where we have given easy access to the enemy?? Are there instances we have allowed the strangers to come into our lives… As Christian soldiers, we must guard our territories… Give no room to the enemies…

Today I want to talk about building boundaries…

💡To build boundaries is to put standards/checks in place in other to secure our future.

💡Boundaries define your person, your personal values, your core values and your traditional values.

💡Building Healthy Boundaries has to do with having self control in every area of your life.

We live in a time where evil is legalized. Where people do different things and feel they can go free. Where evil is more celebrated than good.

In Exodus 19:10-16,Moses had to set boundaries around the mountain so that his people do not touch the base of the mountain. Anyone who does so will die. So Moses went out to inform the people. The Lord is coming, wash your clothes. And also today, we see in 1 Thess 4:16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first.

Moses went around telling them to get rid of every spot and wrinkle. He told them to consecrate themselves . brethren, it’s time to stay pure and holy. The same words from Moses is still ringing in our generation… the Lord is coming and we must warn our generation about it.

Just as Moses set the boundaries for the people of israel, so must we as parents set the boundaries for our children… teaching the right values… the right standards of life…teaching them how to value love and integrity more than money.

As young adults (teenagers and youths), you must set boundaries that will guard your every decision. Set boundaries in your relationship with the opposite sex. Keep your virginity. Be chaste and pure.No one is allowed to touch your private part…that is why it is called PRIVATE.

Proverbs 25:28 NKJV

Whoever has no rule over his own spirit Is  like a city broken down, without walls.

ADVANTAGES OF BUILDING BOUNDARIES

  1. It helps you to be responsible: healthy boundaries help you to put a check on your life. Daniel is a good example of a youth that built healthy boundaries around hislife.

Daniel 1:8 NKJV

But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s delicacies, nor with the wine which he drank; therefore he requested of the chief of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.

  1. It helps you avoid the pain of irresponsibility: when you build healthy boundaries around every area of your life, it helps you to avoid the pain of irresponsibility…look at Joseph in the bible, imagine if he had given in to Portiphar’s wife. He would have lived all his live regretting that action.
  2. It helps you to protect yourself from those who have no self control: as a true soldier of Christ, you must not attach yourself or behave like the people of the world. Those who are ignorant of the truth. Once you build a healthy boundary round your life, certain person will disassociate themselves from you by reason of the kind of decisions you make.

II Timothy 2:4 NKJV

No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier.

  1. It protects you from the judgment that awaits the children of disobedient as we see in Rome 6: 23.

The truth is that every time you cross your boundaries, there is a penalty to pay. You might not see the immediate effect but it will gradually dawn on you at the end of the day.

  1. It helps you to mature in Christ: a sign that your are yetto mature is when you blame everyone else for your wrong behavior or poor decisions. Building healthy boundaries will help you mature in Christ and in other areas of your life

As Christians, we must build healthy boundaries because these boundaries reveal our true identity.

WAYS OF BUILDING BOUNDARIES

  1. Learn to say NO: Matt 5:7 …let your yes be yes and your no be no. the word NO Is important in setting limits on abuse. So learn to say NO.
  2. Choose your words carefully: our words let people know where we stand. A time came in the life of Moses where he had to let the people know his stand. He 11:24…he refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter.
  3. Desire the fruit of the spirit: the fruit of the spirit helps you live a balanced life Gal 5: 22

 

WHAT AREAS DO YOU NEED TO BUILD BOUNDARIES

  1. Eating habits: some people’s stomach has become their God.

 Proverbs 23:21 NKJV

For the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, And drowsiness will clothe a  man with rags.

Build healthy boundaries around your eating habits. Eat well. Eat healthy. Eat balanced diet.

  1. Money: people take luxury for granted. These days people have problems when it comes to dealing with money such as
  • . impulse spending
  • . careless budgeting or no budgeting at all
  • . living beyond their means
  • . credit problems
  • . chronic borrowing from friends

1 Tim 6: 10..the love of money is the root of all evil.

One of my mentors once said “if you spend all you earn, your wisdom pipe is blocked.

This means you need to build healthy boundaries around your finances

  1. Time: don’t waste time. It is precious. Spend it wisely. Eccl 3:1-8 says there is time for everything

Don’t play omnipresent trying to solve everyone’s problem. Set smart goals that will help you achieve all you plan to. Set short term, medium term and long term goals

  1. Tongue: build a healthy boundary around your tongue. Watch what proceeds from your mouth. In the multitude of words, sin is not absent. Our mouth is supposed to be a blessing but it becomes a curse when we…
  • . talk nonstop
  • . gossip
  • . dominate a conversation
  • . threaten
  • .seduce
  • . flatter
  1. Sexuality: as young or old, everyone needs self control in thisregards. Building healthy boundaries around your life mean managing your sexuality. It is the ability to be able to control your sexual urge till the right moment

For the young people, the right moment is when you are married and you do it with your spouse

For those who are married, it is only within the confines of marriage that God permits sex.

Don’t cast your pearls amongst swans or pigs

Choose to bedifferent

Rule your life with a hand of iron

Have self control

At the end of the day, you willbe glad that you held on.

 

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